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Sunday, March 30, 2008

To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend To Get Married


- Author Unknown -

(Worth reading this)

When I got home that night as my wife
served dinner, I held her hand and
said, "I've got something to tell
you."

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I
observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my
mouth. But I had to let her know what
I was thinking.

"I want a divorce." I raised the topic
calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my
words, instead she asked me
softly, "why?"

I avoided her question. This made her
angry. She threw away the chopsticks
and shouted at me, "you are not a man!"

That night, we didn't talk to each
other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened
to our marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer; I had
lost my heart to a lovely girl called
Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just
pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted
a divorce agreement which stated that
she could own our house, 30% shares of
my company and the car. She glanced at
it and then tore it into pieces. The
woman who had spent ten years of her
life with me had become a stranger. I
felt sorry for her wasted time,
resources and energy but I could not
take back what I had said for I loved
Dew so dearly. Finally she cried
loudly in front of me, which was what
I had expected to see. To me her cry
was actually a kind of release. The
idea of divorce which had obsessed me
for several weeks seemed to be firmer
and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very
late and found her writing something
at the table. I didn't have supper but
went straight to sleep and fell asleep
very fast because I was tired after an
eventful day with Dew. When I woke up,
she was still there at the table
writing. I just did not care so I
turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her
divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's
notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month we
both struggle to live as normal a life
as possible. Her reasons were simple:
our son had his exams in a months time
and she didn't want to disrupt him
with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had
something more, she asked me to recall
how I had carried her into out bridal
room on our wedding day. She requested
that everyday for the month's duration
I carry her out of our bedroom to the
front door ever morning. I thought she
was going crazy.

Just to make our last days together
bearable I accepted her odd request. I
told Dew about my wife s divorce
conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd.

"No matter what tricks she applies,
she has to face the divorce," she said
scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body
contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I
carried her out on the first day, we
both appeared clumsy.

Our son clapped behind us, daddy is
holding mummy in his arms. His words
brought me a sense of pain. From the
bedroom to the sitting room, then to
the door, I walked over ten meters
with her in my arms. She closed her
eyes and said softly; " don't tell our
son about the divorce."

I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I
put her down outside the door. She
went to wait for the bus to work. I
drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted
much more easily. She leaned on my
chest.. I could smell the fragrance of
her blouse. I realized that I hadn't
looked at this woman carefully for a
long time. I realized she was not
young any more. There were fine
wrinkles on her face, her hair was
graying! Our marriage had taken its
toll on her. For a minute I wondered
what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her
up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning... This was the woman who
had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized
that our sense of intimacy was growing
again. I didn't tell Dew about this.
It became easier to carry her as the
month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday
workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one
morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a suitable
one. Then she sighed, all my dresses
have grown bigger. I suddenly realized
that she had grown so thin, that was
the reason why I could carry her more
easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had
buried so much pain and bitterness in
her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and
touched her head. Our son came in at
the moment and said, "Dad, it's time
to carry mum out."

To him, seeing his father carrying his
mother out had become an essential
part of his life. My wife gestured to
our son to come closer and hugged him
tightly. I turned my face away because
I was afraid I might change my mind at
this last minute. I then held her in
my arms, walking from the bedroom,
through the sitting room, to the
hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck
softly and naturally. I held her body
tightly; it was just like our wedding
day. But her much lighter weight made
me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my
arms I could hardly move a step. Our
son had gone to school. I held her
tightly and said, I hadn't noticed
that our life lacked intimacy. I drove
to office... jumped out of the car
swiftly without locking the door. I
was afraid any delay would make me
change my mind... I walked upstairs.

Dew opened the door and I said to
her, "Sorry, Dew, I do not want the
divorce anymore."

She looked at me, astonished. Then
touched my forehead.

"Do you have a fever?" She said.

I moved her hand off my head.

" Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't
divorce."

My marriage life was boring probably
because she and I didn't value the
details of our lives, not because we
didn't love each other any more. Now I
realize that since I carried her into
my home on our wedding day I am
supposed to hold her until death does
us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She
gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I
walked downstairs and drove away. At
the floral shop on the way, I ordered
a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The
salesgirl asked me what to write on
the card. I smiled and wrote:

'I'll carry you out every morning
until death do us apart'

The small details of our lives are
what really matter in a relationship.
It is not the mansion, the car, the
property, the bank balance that
matters. These create an environment
conducive for happiness but cannot
give happiness in themselves. So find
time to be your spouse's friend and do
those little things for each other
that build intimacy. Do have a real
happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will
happen to you, but if you do, you just
might save a marriage.

Relationships are made not to exploit,
not to be broken.

We teach some by what we say, we teach
some more by what we do But we teach
most by what we are

- Unknown-

You don't get to choose how you are
going to die, or when, but, you can
decide how you are going to live, here
and now.

Remember:

People will forget what you said ...
people will forget what you did ...

But people will never forget how you
made them feel....

'You Have to Learn Lessons Also from
Others Mistakes because you will Not
Get Time to Do All the Mistakes on
Your Own'

2 comments:

Habbatussauda' said...

gmbr cntk~ mane dpt?

fradzar said...

cari kat flickr je... =) byk gamba kat ctu..